SINCE THE BBC SACKED ALL THE DALEKS # 4

 

Since the BBC sacked all the Daleks

Most are just scrounging off the state

But there is one working at the Old Bailey

He doesn’t really communicate

And it scares a lot of the Barristers

When it says Exonerate, Exonerate

SINCE THE BBC SACKED ALL THE DALEKS # 3

 

Since the BBC sacked all the Daleks

Most are just scrounging off the state

But there is one working at the Vatican

He doesn’t really communicate

And it scares a lot of the devout

When it says Excommunicate, Excommunicate

SINCE THE BBC SACKED ALL THE DALEKS # 2

 

Since the BBC sacked all the Daleks

Most are just scrounging off the state

But there is one working at our uni

He doesn’t really communicate

And it scares a lot of the students

When it says “Extrapolate, Extrapolate”

SINCE THE BBC SACKED ALL THE DALEKS # 1

 

Since the BBC sacked all the Daleks

Most are just scrounging off the state

But there is one working at our salon

He doesn’t really communicate

And it scares a lot of the customers

When it says “Exfoliate, exfoliate”

The Tornado Sojourns (5) – Chapter 5 – All Square

 

After dropping Coll at his house Lyris and Zerrad Skeet found themselves a comfortable hotel on the classier side of town.

They spent much of the next day mooching about Ditton doing not very much at all, and later in the day they sat in a restaurant and over a meal discussed what to do next about Coll.

“He’s definitely hiding something” Lyris said

“I agree, but we don’t know if that’s a murder or not” his brother responded

“Well I think there’s one sure way to find out and that’s to go and ask him” Lyris added

“Ok let’s go and see him now” Zerrad said

 

It was quite late when they pulled up in Coll’s neighbourhood, and everything was quiet, so they parked in the first available space, it was only as they walked along the alley that they noticed the front door was ajar.

The Skeets drew their weapons and Lyris pushed the door open slowly and stepped inside the dark hallway.

“Coll!” he called

 

Coll Musak heard the call just as he aimed the Pulsar Laser at Knarf, who, on seeing Coll momentarily distracted took his chance and sprang up off the sofa and launched himself at him, then he fired the fully charged Pulsar Laser, and the bolt hit Knarf squarely in the chest throwing him back onto the flexible alloy covered sofa, but because the Laser was discharged at such short range the Laser bolt went straight through the Adnarian before continuing its flight, and hitting the wall by the door just as Lyris opened the door. 

 

Lyris burst into the room and heard something hit the wall about twelve inches from his head, he wasn’t sure what it was until he saw the Pulsar Laser in Coll’s hand, then he looked at the scorched hole in the plaster and said

“That was too close for comfort”

He tried to put the fact that he had narrowly missed being killed from his mind and quickly surveyed the scene, a motionless body, the flexible alloy sheet, a Gold Watch on the table and a Pulsar Laser.

However, while he was surveying the scene his brother pushed past him and took the weapon from Coll who relinquished it without argument then he checked the motionless body for signs of life, before he turned and said.

“He’s dead”

“Good” Coll retorted

“What the hell happened Coll what’s going on here?”

“I set a trap for him, ambushed him if you like,” He pointed at the faux Gold Watch

“I lured him here with that and then executed him”

 

Lyris sat down on the vacant chair and Zerrad sat on the arm of the sofa and looked at the corpse, while Coll filled them in on the events of that evening and the previous months which lead up to it.

He told them everything, seeing Knarf leaving Sonda’s house, the call to the Prefecture, the lying, the intimidation, the vandalism and the brain tumour, right up to the point when the Skeets entered the room.

“You can call the prefects now” Coll stated.

Lyris sat in the arm chair with his head back and his eyes closed and said nothing.

“Lyris you must”

“I’m not going to call anyone” Lyris replied leaning forward.

“But I killed him, you know I did” Coll said

“We’re not calling the Prefects” Zerrad confirmed

“But you have to, I killed him, and I’m prepared to take my punishment” Coll said

“If they arrest you for murder you will spend your last days in prison awaiting trial” Lyris said

“And you don’t deserve that”

“I don’t want you two throwing your lives away to save me” Coll said

“We wouldn’t have lives if it hadn’t been for you” Zerrad said “So what’s our next move Ly?”

“We need the Spider Hawk” Lyris replied and then to Coll he asked

“Is your Runabout driveable?”

“Yes, I just keep it in the lockup to stop it being vandalised” he replied

“Ok we’ll sort things here, while you return the Runabout and get the shuttle to Rendon, pick up the Spider Hawk and the meet us….” He paused as he consulted an electronic map “This old derelict quarry workings”

“Ok I’m on my way” Zerrad said “Rendezvous in 5 hours”

 

The first hour following Zerrad’s departure passed largely in silence, as Lyris and Coll wrapped the corpse in the flexible alloy sheet which they then carried out to Coll’s lockup, fortunately it was possible to access it from his back yard reducing the risk of being seen, and they managed to get to the garage unnoticed.

Once in the garage they put the body in the back, then paused for breath.

“What now?” Coll asked breathing heavily.

“Go back to the house and get all your belongings together, you won’t be coming back to Ditton again” he replied

 

It only took Coll about half an hour to throw what he wanted to take into a couple of bags, and another twenty to gather together his most precious belongings into a third.

The three bags were loaded into the Runabout and then Lyris went back to the house to make sure there were no signs of foul play and then he turned out the light and closed the back door and joined Coll in the lockup.

“Ok let’s go” he said

A thick fog had descended which was something of a blessing and a curse, a blessing as it was good cover if you were up to no good but a curse when the people you’re rendezvousing with are unable to see the ground.

So they drove carefully away from Coll’s house, away from his neighbourhood, through the industrial district and beyond to the old derelict quarry workings.

 

They drove off the main road and followed the rough track that lead towards the quarry and continued on round to the back of the abandoned buildings, to a spot that couldn’t be seen from the main road and pulled up in a cancelled spot some fifty yards from where the Spider Hawk could land.

They had about an hour to wait before Zerrad was due and Lyris was relieved to see that the fog was thinning as a light breeze began to blow.

 

It was half an hour beyond the agreed time for the Rendezvous and Lyris was beginning to get concerned but then the comms crackled into life

“Spider Hawk calling Chic’s, come in Chic’s” Zerrad said

“Chic’s receiving Zer, loud and clear” Lyris replied

“Visibility poor, can you give me a target” Zerrad asked

“Received Zer, look for my lights” he replied and turned the Runabout lights on full”

“I have visual, coming down”

 

The Spider Hawk landed and Lyris drove the Runabout closer to reduce the distance they would need to carry the body. 

They got Coll and his bags aboard first and then opened the boot and transferred the body into the Spider Hawks hold.

Finally, once Zerrad was at the controls Lyris set the timer on a burner and tossed it in to Coll’s Runabout.

A burner was an incendiary device with a time delay which would give them time to get airborne before it went off, so Lyris got in the Spider Hawk and Zerrad took off.

They hovered just above the quarry until the burner ignited and once the Runabout was well ablaze they sped off at speed directly towards space, and as soon as they left Eikon Majors atmosphere Zerrad slowed down.

“Shall we let him go here?” he asked

“It’s as good a place as any” Lyris said and remotely opened the hold, and they watched as the alloy covered bundle tumbled through the outer atmosphere and burned up as it went.

“Good riddance” Coll said

 

There was real relief in Coll’s face as they left Eikon Major, even though he had no notion where he was going.

For the Skeets it was a no brainer, like all the Tornado’s lame ducks, like Duff Tarver and Ambor Etra, they took him to Montrose, but unlike Duff and Ambor there would be no recovery, but he would be able to end his days in peace and dignity among friends new and old, and attended by the Tornado’s healer, Terrell Vorton.

 

Coll Musak’s passing coincided with Ambor Etra’s recovery from her Pulsar wound and the Tornado’s readiness to resume its duties for Golbolt Interstellar, so it was decided Ambor could tag along aboard the Tornado until such time as Ferro Scanner returned from protective duty on Andraxis and Captain Merionwen Strong returned to the Eikon Cluster after her sabbatical.

The Tornado Sojourns (5) – Chapter 4 – Entrapment

 

It was the day after the chance meeting with the Skeet brothers that Coll put the plan, meant to cleanse his shame, into action, and it was a plan hatched when he got his first diagnosis at the Mission Clinic.

The first part was quite simple and involved luring the greedy and grasping Knarf Dann to his house, and he decided the best way to do that was with the lure of money or valuables.

The only snag being that he didn’t have any of either, so he had to be creative.

He spent a couple of weeks trawling street markets looking for any items that might suit his needs, and when he had acquired some suitable candidates, he took them home and set about converting the drab worthless junk into shiny expensive looking bait.

Before the Shaxon war he and his wife Silia lead a quiet peaceful life on the agrarian planet Shax.

But when he wasn’t toiling on the land, he indulged his hobby which was repurposing any old junk on the farm, like old farm implements and making something aesthetically pleasing from them either for their home or to sell at market.

During the war it preserved his sanity and after leaving the Shaxson system it provided him with a living.

So, once he had accumulated his bits of junk he began to cannibalise the bits from each piece in order to produce the eye-catching bait he was looking for.

The item he finished up with appeared to be an old Earth pocket time piece, complete with heavy chain, made from Gold, in truth the watch itself was a base metal trinket box, painted gold, and the chain was actually a cheap alloy also painted gold.

The whole thing looked very impressive, providing you didn’t look too closely, but he was counting on Knarf Dann being blinded by greed.    

So, part one was complete, the second part involved making sure Knarf saw the bait and that would be achieved by way of an improvised meeting.

Coll knew that Knarf was a regular at the local bar at the end of the alley and was generally in the bar between six and seven most evenings, so Coll made sure he was in there in plenty of time, he was worried when he was drinking with the Skeets earlier that they might delay him.

Coll got himself in a position, so he could see through the window and spot when Knarf approached the bar, then he drained his glass quickly and made sure he was on his feet directly in his targets path as he entered, so he was stood blocking his way as he put on his overcoat.

“Get out of my way” He sneered, and Coll made an exaggerated movement to get his arm through the armhole and could see by the expression on Knarf’s face the precise moment he saw the fake Gold Watch clearly visible peeking out of Coll’s inside coat pocket.

“I’m going, I’m going” Coll said and made his goodbyes to the other patrons he had been conversing with, fully satisfied that the bait had been well and truly taken.

He knew he had plenty of time to walk back to his house as the Knarf Dann would have to stay in the bar as was his normal habit so as not to draw suspicion on himself.

Once he was through the front door he quickly took off his coat remembering to retrieve the prize from his pocket and went straight to the sitting room.

He had now reached the third and decisive part of his plan which he had pondered on long and hard.

As he would soon be dead he intended to regain his self-respect by addressing the situation of allowing himself to be intimidated by a petty crook before it was too late.

Before sitting down, he adjusted the angle of his armchair so that it faced the door he had just come in through, but was not visible from the doorway until the door was fully open, then he sat down and with his left hand picked up the Pulsar Laser from the table.

The weapon was his trusted sidearm from his time as a Corvette Captain in the Shaxon War, which hadn’t seen the light of day since he first arrived in Ditton.

He spent most of the previous day cleaning it and fully charged it, then fired a test shot in his lockup.

He covered the sofa with a large heavy-duty flexible alloy sheet that he used to cover his Runabout.

The sheet wasn’t meant to conceal the crime, he just didn’t want to ruin the furnishings for the next tenant.

At first, he thought he would just scare a confession out of Knarf, but it would never have held up in front of a Justice and he would retract it as soon as he could, so he had resolved to kill him quickly and cleanly and then give himself up. 

Coll knew Knarf Dann would come through the front door, so he just sat there and waited, he didn’t suppose it would be long, the lure of a large lump of Gold is very strong to a hardened criminal, and he was proved right, when he heard the wood splinter on the front door.

Knarf Dann had stayed little more than an hour at the bar and was now inside the house.

Coll transferred the weapon into his right hand and pointed it in the direction of the door.

What Coll hadn’t considered until that moment was the possibility that he wouldn’t come alone, but then he thought he was far too greedy to share the spoils of such an easy score.

 

The door handle turned, and the door began to move and suddenly it was wide open, and Knarf rushed in.

“Hello Coll, I thought I’d come for a little visit” He said looking round the room.

“I think you have something for me…”

He left the sentence unfinished when he saw the Pulsar Laser for the first time and started to edge backwards to the door.

“No need to rush off, come in and sit down, make yourself comfortable as you’ve come for a visit”

Nonetheless Knarf Dann carried on edging backwards then Coll primed the Laser and a feint hum could be heard, and his visitor turned white, which caused Coll to smile.

“Sit down” Coll said again, and this time he did sit down on the flexible alloy sheet.

“Is that thing supposed to frighten me?” Knarf said trying and failing to regain his bravado.

“No, it’s supposed to kill you” Coll replied coldly, and Blake started to shake

“No, please” he begged

“You don’t have to kill me, I’ll leave you alone from now on, I promise, please don’t kill me”

“Why should I spare your life, you miserable piece of Adnarian scum?”

“I beg you please don’t kill me, I don’t want to die”

“Did Sonda beg for her life before you beat her to death?” Coll asked coldly, “Why should I spare your life, you didn’t spare hers?”

“It wasn’t me, I’m innocent” he stammered

Coll was shaking with rage now, all the anger at his shame and cowardice was coming to the fore, he wanted to tell Knarf how he had stained his life, how he made him feel about himself, but the words wouldn’t come, instead he sat and stared at the snivelling creature before him and decided now was as good a time as any.

The Tornado Sojourns (5) – Chapter 3 – An Old Comrade

 

Zerrad Skeet brought the Runabout to a halt parallel to the Tram Stop and his brother Lyris leant out of the window and shouted

“Captain Musak! Is that you? My God it is! As I live and breathe”

The sound of the shouting brought Coll back from his self-pitying reflections and he looked up to see a Runabout parked in front of him with the passenger window down and a familiar face looking down at him from the window.

The door opened, and the man got out, so Coll got to his feet and walked stiffly to the meet him.

“Lyris Skeet you haven’t changed a bit” he said and then the two men embraced heartily, and when he relinquished his hold on Lyris he realised they had been joined by his brother

“And Zerrad too” he said and embraced the other Skeet. 

“Can we give you a lift Coll?” Lyris said

“Thanks” he replied “As long as it’s not out of your way”

“Well we don’t know if it is or it isn’t but it’s not a problem either way” Zerrad said “Come on and get in”

Coll nodded and opened the back door and then he glanced back to the bench

“Could we drop this lady on the way?” Coll asked “She only lives a block away from me”

“Of course,” Zerrad said so Coll opened the door and he and the lady got in.

“Thank you, this damp weather gets right in your bones” she said rubbing her knees.

“No problem” Lyris said “so what brought you outside in this awful weather?”

“Just visiting a friend” lady said

“Me too” Coll lied not wanting to be pitied. “What about you two?”

“We were making a delivery” Zerrad said “That’s what we do”

 

Five minutes later the Skeets dropped a very grateful Gouveian lady on her block, and as they drove away, Lyris said

“We’re done for the day, how about a drink? If it’s not too early for you”

“Ok” Coll agreed “Take the next left and there’s a bar a hundred yards up on the right”

“Is that your local?” Zerrad asked

“No, no, my local is a bit of a dive” Coll replied

 

Once they were seated at a table with drinks in their hands

Lyris said

“A toast, Shaxon”

“Shaxson” they echoed

“So, Coll how come you were catching a tram?” Zerrad asked

“Don’t you drive anymore?

“I do, it’s just that I can’t afford to use my Runabout anymore”

Coll replied.

“I only have my pension now”

The rest of the conversation consisted of small talk about the war and catching up with the years since, until they’d had a good few drinks and it was time to complete the journey to Coll’s house, and they were very soon pulling up adjacent to the tiny house where he lived.

“Thanks for the lift boys it’s really appreciated” He said as he opened the car door “And the drinks”

“We’ll have to do it again, soon” Lyris said

“Ok, thanks boys” He replied a little uncomfortably and then he got out the car after some undignified effort.

“I don’t move as well as I did, even when I haven’t had a drink” he said with a laugh, just before he closed the car door.

He said goodbye, then made his way unsteadily a short way up the alley to his door.

It was an unremarkable little house build in the days when Ditton thrived and looked as if it had stood the test of time better than Coll.

He fumbled for his door key and slipped it into the lock and having unlocked the door he went inside turning briefly to wave to the Skeets before closing the door behind him.

 

Lyris and Zerrad sat in the car and watched Coll walk up the Alley and returned his wave and carried on watching him until the door closed.

They had always liked Coll, even before he saved their lives, and it was good to see him again, and while they were laughing and drinking and sharing war stories there was no hint that he had murder in mind, but there was something he had not shared with them.

 

Safely in his house Coll turned on the heating but kept his coat on when he sat down while he waited for the room to warm up.

It had been nice to see his old comrades in arms again, he had always liked the Skeets, but as much as he liked them and appreciated seeing them, the talk of the old days had left him feeling ashamed.

 

The reason for his great shame was that he had lied to the Prefects in regard to the brutal murder of his friend and neighbour

Sonda Grarb, an elderly Orsinian lady, who lived in the house across the alley from his own.

 

On the evening of the murder he had been in his bedroom, sitting by the window reading, as it was a warm night he had the windows open wide to let in some air, but because of the uncomfortable heat he found his mind kept wandering from the text and he spent more than a little time, idly looking out through the window, he had an unhindered view of the alley and the houses across the other side due to the fact that the windows were open wide.

Just as he was about to return his wandering mind to his book he saw Sonda Grarb’s front door open, which surprised him because she didn’t get many visitors, especially after dark and she certainly wasn’t one for going out of an evening, so he was curious to see who it was.

The outside lights were off, and in the shadows, he could only just make out a slight figure, but as they moved down the path to the gate they were illuminated by the bright moon light and Coll’s jaw dropped to see it was Knarf Dann.

Knarf was an Adnarian, small wiry, almost human in appearance, but had scales instead of hair, and breathed through gills in his neck.

He was also a vicious thug, a ruthless criminal who made his living from preying on the weak.

But then to Coll’s horror, Knark looked directly at him and smiled a very unattractive smile, and then his blood ran cold as he made a sweeping gesture across his throat.

Coll was frozen to the spot, powerless to move under his evil gaze, then he turned and walked casually down the alley.

Coll was in turmoil, he knew something bad had happened, and that Sonda could be laying in her house injured, but the implication from Knarf was clear, if he said anything he was dead, so he didn’t know what to do, he wanted to call the Prefects, but if he reported it to them he would have to say what he saw.

So instead he rushed out the back door to where his Runabout was parked and then he drove a couple of blocks to a bar, from where he called the Prefecture, and by the time he got back to his house the Prefects had already gained entry to Sonda’s house and he could tell by their body language and the lack of urgency that she was dead.

The prefects knocked on his door the next morning and that was when the lying began.

 

Knarf Dann however had not been satisfied with his implied threat to Coll on the night of the murder so he made a point of reminding him whenever he got the chance during the months following the murder, and whenever he got to hear that Coll had been seen talking to a Prefect, a window would be smashed, a tire on his Runabout would be slashed, the last occasion his wipers were ripped off, he replaced them but after that he kept his Runabout in a lockup, as he couldn’t afford to keep making the repairs.

But the worst thing of all was when he just stood in the Alley and stared at his house, taunting him, shaming him.

Every act perpetrated against him underlined the contempt he had for himself for succumbing to Knarf’s intimidation, but now the worm was turning, he was dying and that he could do nothing about, but he didn’t want to die a coward and that he could rectify.

It was too late to tell the Prefects what he saw that night, the brain tumour would see him in the ground long before the case got before a Justice, it was too late for the law to deal with him, but he had something better in mind.